In a relationship, married or not… You should read this.

Marriage.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?   

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!   

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.   

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.   When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.   

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.   

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.   

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.   

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.   

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.   

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.   

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.   

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.   

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.   

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.   

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.   At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.   

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….   

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!  

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.   

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” 

source : http://nathan-persuasion.tumblr.com/post/5222334447/marriage

after read this story, damn :'((((

Dira Sugandi, Musik, dan Jazz

judulnya saling terkait ya ? dan memang terbaca tidak ada hubungannya dengan saya 

saya sebenernya pengen masukin (sedikit) tentang diri saya dijudul itu, tapi kok ternyata susah nemuin yang pas, jadi yaudalah itu aja, OK ..

tanggal 17 Maret lalu, salah satu penyanyi Jazz Indonesia, Dira Sugandi sedang perform di Surabaya

dan beruntungnya saya, ada seorang teman yang berbaik hati mengajak saya bergabung untuk menghadiri acara tersebut, Wina. 

jujur, saat Wina memberitahukan adanya acara tersebut, saya MALES BANGET DATENG.

weetss bukan karena saya nggak suka ama ajakan wina, 

bukan juga karena saya nggak suka mbak Dira Sugandi,

atau bukan juga saya nggak suka musik.

saya cuma takut ketiduran ditempat umum, malu bo :|

jadi saya memang tipikal entah ya jenis orang seperti apa, tapi saya selalu ngantuk kalo dateng ke acara pengajian dan acara live musik (yang duduk gitu, ga berdiri), apalagi musik Jazz, yang emang bisa bikin adem dan nge-fly. haha :))

apalagi saat itu acaranya diadakan disebuah cafe di Surabaya, dan pasti nggak lucu lah kalo saya ketiduran dicafe disaat semua orang menikmati kerennya musik Jazz dan apik-nya performa mbak Dira.

tapi kenapa kok akhirnya saya datang ?

karena penasaran dan pengen coba-coba, kali aja ketagihan, 

yaa seperti coba-coba pada umumnya, yang setelah dicoba bisa bikin ketagihan, kan lumayan juga tuh kalo ternyata saya sekalian bisa ilangin kebiasaan ngantuk diacara musik :p

saya inget banget dulu saat saya masih muda, keluarga pernah ajakin saya datang ke acara live-music-nya Kla Project yang ada om Katon Bagaskara, dan YA saya ketiduran sampai akhir acara :))

naaahh karena kok keliatannya gak nikmat banget sih jadi orang yang gampang tidur diacara keren semacam acara musik gitu, makanya saya seperti dapet dorongan dari dalam buat merubah kebiasaan janggal itu, dan bisa jadi orang seperti umumnya yang selalu enjoy kalo diajakin dateng ke acara live-music :)

jadilah saya MAU dateng ke acara mbak Dira Sugandi ini .

dan hasilnya ...........

saya tetep NGANTUK, hahahahahahaa :))

tapi ngantuk doang untungnya, gak sampai tidur, syukurlah 

mungkin nih ya mungkin, alasannya adalah

• performa mbak Dira emang bikin geregetan, mata rasanya gak tega kalo sampe meninggalkan sajian semanis dan seindah yang disuguhkan mbak Dira, mas Elfa Zulham, dan teman-temannya.
• karena saya kebetulan duduk didepan STAGE PAS yang pastinya itu suara kencengnya gak ketulungan, jadi memungkinkan saya buat tetep melek
• karena mas Elfa Zulham nya ganteng bo, jadi sayang juga kalo ditinggal tidur .. hahahaa :))

ya semoga saat ada acara musik sejenis yang berikutnya, saya bisa jadi penonton yang lebih baik lagi, nggak ninggal tidur, dan nggak ngantuk kalo bisa . aamiin

dan diakhir acara, saya juga baru tahu kalo ternyata acara itu sebenarnya bukan acaranya mbak Dira tapi acara mas Elfa Zulham dan bandnya (yang maaf saya lupa nama bandnya) , dan karena ada satu personil yang nggak hadir, jadi disitu mbak Dira yang gantiin dan kebetulan juga mbak Dira adalah kekasih mas Elfa, dan bagusnya lagi, mereka berdua ada dialiran musik yang sama.

AWESOME for BOTH OF YOU, 

Miss Dira Sugandi and Mr Elfa Zulham,

keep Jazz-ing and SUCCESS :)

EARTH HOUR 2011 - results

sorry for my late update because i had some problems :D

hope you all will enjoy this post about Earth Hour 2011 in my city Surabaya, Indonesia